Fairy God Mother

I have been awarded the great title of God Mother to my new nephew, i have never been a god mother before. I was delighted to be asked and felt it was a special title bestowed on me… maybe i am just being over dramatic but I do. However, now I wonder what pearls of wisdom i can now offer my god son when he begins his journey in life. I have a particularly close bond with my niece who is now 14 and we could really be like sisters. I know she looks up to me in the girlie things, like fashion, beauty and music stuff. I am taking her on holidays with me for 2 weeks in July and I can’t wait to have her all to myself. Hopefully, when my nephew is older i will bring him away on holidays too.  However, bonding with boys may serve up some challenges. I can’t take him clothes shopping or talk about the latest season trend….

I do know that if you love a child and support them in every way you can then it is half the battle.  So i suppose the rest will take care of itself… I could brush up on my sports knowledge… I just hope i will have a special bond with him and that we will be good friends. My family mean so much to me that I cherish every piece of happiness with them. In the last few years I have had to deal with the loss of my mother and now I am faced with losing my father in the next few months. I am watching him disappear every day just like my mother did. So that is why I strive to be the most loving and giving person I can with my family.  You don’t get another chance this is it, this isn’t a dress rehearsal!!

We had the christening last Sunday and in the words of the priest i have a spiritual bond with my god son. I find this difficult to understand as I believe you make your own spiritual bond with whatever you believe in. I am catholic but I don’t necessarily believe in all the catholic teachings and rules. I consider myself to be spiritual, I pray to a higher being, something bigger than us, something more than us. I believe that things happen for a reason. I am not going to preach to my god son, i want him to find his own way in his spiritual journey whatever that may be. I like the idea of bring together different aspect of religions i.e. mediation as a form of pray, enlightenment as part of creativity, connecting with others on a real and emotional level, respecting yourself and respecting others.

10 things about my childhood you probably didn’t need to know

Following on from Colm,

1. My childhood hero was Paddington Bear. I used to have a small brown suitcase too but I didn’t come from darkest Peru (well i don’t think so anyway)

2. My brother once threw a dart at my forehead…

3. I climbed up on a high chair to get a pink wafer biscuit and fell off, banging my head and having a huge bump on my forehead (my forehead got some bashing). Since then I hate the sight and smell of those biscuits! Good lesson!!

4. One year we went camping to Kerry, but I told everyone we were going the ‘South of France in Kerry..’ I had alot of high notions even back then!!

5. Nutella, Nutella, Nutella was part of my stable diet (FYI: Nutella is a choclate spread for bread or toast or just on a spoon!!)

6. Yougahl Beach was my second home… and Perks funfair!!

7. My granny made the best fairy cakes/cup cakes in the world… and icing too..

8. My first record was Kylie Minogue…. and Micheal Jacksons ‘Bad’ record was a close second.

9. As a baby I used to bite the top of my bottle and squirt the milk at my brother and all over the walls!

10.  It all ended….

next up!!!

 

The old and the new

My brother and his wife are happily introducing their new baby boy to this world. The baby is nearly 2 weeks old at this stage and adored beyond belief.  This baby becomes the new attention and focus of their lives. My brother who has a natural ability as a father is struggling with his own fathers terminal illness. The old and the new, the baby and his father, life and death so delicately interwoven. This baby will not see his grandfather for the true gentleman that he is. My brother will have to introduce his new born son to all the beautiful traditions and cherished memories of his grandfather.

 

Music and Lyrics

I love when you find songs with amazing lyrics and melodies. The very sucessful ‘Once’ film with Glen Hansard and Marketta Irglova has an amazing sound track with 2 great songs apart from Falling Slowly which has now been played to the death! However, Glen Hansard is an amazing song writer and it is about time he is given the deserved kudos. However the first song that I have chosen is called Gold by Fergus O’Farrell (Interference). 

GOLD – INTERFERENCE

And I love her so
I wouldn’t trade her for gold
I’m walking on moon beams
I was born with a silver spoon
And I’m gonna be me

I’m gonna be free
I’m walking on moon beams
and staring out to seaand if a door close
then a road for home start building
and tear your curtains down
for sunlight is like gold

And you better be you
And do what you can do
When you’re walking on moon beams
Staring out to sea
Cause if your skin was soil
How long do you think before they start digging
and if your life was gold
how long would you think you’d stay livin’?
Hey

And I love her so
I wouldn’t trade her for gold

Fergus O’Farrell performed on the RTE show ‘Other voices’ recently and it was a wonderful collection of his songs, i am running out the door to buy his album. I hadn’t heard him before so I am really looking forward to listening to this album. He is a great live perfomer with a rare and velet tone to his voice and of course he is a Cork man!!

The second song which I think is just magical is sung by Marketta Irglova, Glen Hansards singing companion ( and more possibly). I am not sure who wrote this particular song but it is a gem. 

IF YOU WANT ME – Marketta Irglova

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can’t tell dreams from truth 
for it’s been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore 

When I get really lonely
and the distance causes our silence
I think of you smiling 
with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs

If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me
if you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me

Are you really sure that you’d believe me
when others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
when you know I really try
to be a better one to satisfy you
For your everything to me
and I’ll do what you ask me
if you’ll let me be, free

If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me

Typical that the two of these songs are love songs or songs of relationships. I suppose the power of deep feelings whether it is love, hate, pain, etc must spill out easily to the written word or in this case into beautiful songs. Both of these songs are rich examples of talented and creative song writers. 

For you

(dedicated to Pam and Jim) 

In our hearts and minds we speak of love

 A love so deep we can but breath it in,

this breath of love encases our senses and brings forth the meaning of you.

With a loving look and knowing smiile they have come together

Towards and beyond they unite forever

These are the friends, these are the lovers before us.

Walking side by side, to the edge of a new life

Fulfillment and joy fills their heart and bodies.

Patience is definitely a virture…

I would have never considered myself the most patient of people. It is something i struggle with.. i get annoyed quite easily. However, there is nothing better to bring you back to a sense of patience when you are dealing with a serious and terminal illness. Not me, but my dad.  I live at home, so I am acutely aware of how my father is fading and changing day by day.

He is confused and forgets things. I know that we are all forgetful at times but this is different. He had a tumor removed and eventually this will grow back again thus ending this beautiful persons life. From what I can understand, the area where the tumor is/was is effecting his short term memory, formulation of sentences and remembering words.  However in saying all this, my dad has become a much more chilled out man. He isn’t as nervous or stressed as he used to be. He has a calmness which surrounds him like the tress surround the forest.

Like those tall and strong trees, he stands stead fast in some comforting confidence which has descend on him. My dad has always been a private man.  This became so obvious and important element of my dad when he became ill.  He didn’t want anyone to visit in hospital, he didn’t want the trappings of visitors  or well wishers. It was like we were his guardians. A role reversal. The man who took care of my mother for years and us, now is the patient. He is the weak, sick man in the bed. Unable to talk or make contact with his children after suffering from a hemorrhage. 

I am getting to know my dad again. He has changed and our relationship has changed. I am no longer the baby in the family but i am a carer, a loyal and loving daughter. Trying to support my precious father in this nightmare that he wakes to everyday.

what next

Boy likes girl, girl likes boy.

boy in relationship with another girl…

What next for girl and boy?

Simple and complicated at the same time.

Love and lust, hurt and hope.

Seems to be the oldest story of time, what next for boy and girl.

To be alone is simple and beautiful. To be alone is easy and care free.

the big C

Recently, my father has been diagnosed with Brian Cancer. He has less than a year to live. Tick, Tick, Tick.

My father is unaware of how serious his condition actually is. However, he does seem to have a sense that he may not survive this terrible disease.  This man of strenght, respect and privacy has been pushed to his limits both emotionally and physically. He has become a shell of a man and is not the father that I know.  In fleating moments, you can catch a small glimpse of the man I once knew, but unfortunately these are wearing thin.

He has become an old man, fumbling to make sense of this huge change in his life. Grasping at the slightest positive news that the doctors tell him. Clinging to the hope of life. 

Hello blog world!

well, i have been always meaning to get into this blog thing and here i am. A bit confused at the moment, but i am sure i will get the hang of it.